The Art of Procrastination

Hey chili dogs,

I have a paper due tomorrow for english class. Many other people in my situation would be writing that paper and/or have it done and ready to be turned in. I, on the other hand, am not. You wanna know why? It's one simple word that has become one of my most overused lifestyle choices...

"Procrastination" (Defined as 'To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.')

I have become a master of this art form. Yes, I said art form. Anyone can be lazy, but procrastination is almost on a higher plane of existance.

For example: People can be lazy and not do the dishes, pay the rent, or do laundry. These acts only require so much brain power to accomplish. A monkey with rabies and a clubbed foot could do my dishes if properly trained. (Ok, I wouldn't neccessarily WANT him to do my dishes, but you get the point.)

Procrastination, on the other hand, is more about putting something off that requires a bit more effort. Such as an english paper, buying a car, or getting laid. In this case, I fucking RULE at being a procrastinator. And, for the most part, these things have a specific deadline. (Except getting laid... no deadline there. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about here.)

Something else that a good procrastinator must posess is the ability not to care too much about what needs to be done. Sure, a lazy bum can also not care, but their tasks don't necessarliy NEED to be done. The procrastinator's task usually have to be done at some point in the near future.

Finally, the procrastinator MUST have a good since of how to bullshit. I can write a four page paper in one hour if focused enough. If you can bullshit your way through your task at the absolute last minute then you have joined the elite ranks of "Procrastinator".

So pop open a cold one, lay back in your favorite chair/sofa/beanbag/sex swing/toilet, and let the laziness roll. You can do anything with your new found skills. HUZAH!


(Jesus Christ... I need some pussy)


POA: 65%
Previous POA: 59%


Honorable Mentions
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Jake: I'm sure you did something worth this mention... so keep on rockin'.

Katie: I'm pretty sure you're a better procrastinator than me. Good for you!

Me: I'm probably gonna need some serious hypnotherapy later on in life... and I'm not looking forward to it.


Homework really grinds my gears,

Nate-O