Twitter

What is the deal with Twitter these days?

I'm already on board with Facebook. As bad as it can get sometimes, I will still go back there every god damn day. Especially with that "Mafia Wars" app that my friends got me roped into. (That shit is ADDICTING. LEVEL 68 bitches...)

And I went back and did a few things with MySpace too. Not much though. I don't have all that background crap that slows your computer down or makes it IMPOSSIBLE to see the text that you're trying to read. Hell, I haven't even changed my picture on MySpace for about 2 or 3 years... it's still me in a my blue Adidas hoodie at the control console of the old WCRD studios. Obviously not a big fan, but I still go back there because, like many of us these days, I want to know what everyone else is thinking with their status updates.

But Twitter... I'm flat out saying NO to that junk pile. You have, what, 150 characters to use to get your point across? If I want to do that, I'll send a damn text message...

So fuck Twitter. Yes, I said it. You will NEVER EVER see my screen name "Tweeting" telling everyone how great my Taco Bell Chicken Quesadilla was.

Oh, and how the FUCK do you make the action verb of "to twitter" tweet? That almost made me have a aneurysm about how stupid that sounds.

Ok, enough about that. Let's move on.

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I AM FUCKING PSYCHED FOR MAY 8th!!!

I've requested the day off, I've been scouring the interwebz for spoilers and clips and every little thing I can get my grubby little trekkie hands on. Fuck, I may even buy the toy phaser, tricorder and communicator at Toys R Us when they come out.

(I'm talking about "Star Trek" in case you're confused)

Seriously, I could lose my job tomorrow and I would still be uber excited for May 8th. I'm more excited about May 8th than my BIRTHDAY. The only thing that would make May 8th better would be to spend the day with a chick who is JUST as excited about the new Star Trek and I am and just watch the movie all day.

Damn I'm lonely...

My old buddy Shawn from college is going back and watching all the Trek movies in order before the new one comes out. I only have 5 of the 10 movies in my possession: The Motion Picture; Wrath of Kahn; The Search for Spock; The Voyage Home; and First Contact.

Here's the way I think this is going to work.

May 7th - 5pm: My day of work ends. I completely shut off all contact with work. The sales people will be bitching at me about something but I'm going to pretend like I don't even speak English at this point. Hell, maybe I'll swear at them in Klingon just for the hell of it.

May 7th - 6:30pm: After a quick bite to eat, I'm off to the theatre. YES, because there will be a 7pm showing on Thursday because PARAMOUNT IS AWESOME!

May 7th - approx. 9:30pm: I go home to change my pants because It's been one long orgasm for 2 hours.

May 8th - 12:01am: Back at the movie theatre for a second helping at the Midnight Screening. I'm once again surrounded by die-hard Trek Fans. Hell, I may even make some new friends. They'll ask how many times I plan on seeing the movie and I'll say, "As many times as I can squeeze in before Saturday Midnight." (Which, according to Fandango at this point is only 3 other times starting at 4:20pm. But that's sure to change closer to opening day)

These nerds will then revere me as a God because not only do I have a cool job, but I'm also WAY more confident then them and have actually been laid. I'll call them my disciples and we'll travel the land preaching the Gospel of the Great Bird. (Wow... I'm totally going to hell.)

May 8th - approx. 2:30am: I'm still BLOWN AWAY by this sea of awesomeness. But, I have to go home and get some sleep if I want to have enough energy to see the movie several more times.

May 8th - Various times: My goal is to see Star Trek at least 4 times, if not 5. The freakin movie theatre people will just look at me like some weirdo but I won't give a shit. I've been waiting over TEN YEARS for a new Star Trek movie. TEN FUCKIN YEARS!!! I had to sit through TV shows, rumors of a new movie, re-runs of the TV shows, shitty video games... I FUCKING DESERVE THIS!

May 9th - Sometime after midnight: I'm sitting at a Bar. I don't care which one... but I will be drinking something Blue. In my mind, I'll be Dr. McCoy in the scene from Star Trek III where he's trying to book passage to the Genesis Planet. Although instead of Altair Water, I'll be imagining it's Romulan Ale. There will just be this HUGE smile on my face as I reflect on how awesome the new Star Trek movie was. I'll be wondering how the hell I'll be able to top such a perfect day...

...maybe when the sequel comes out.

Bring the warp drive online Mr. Scott... I want May 8th to get here at Maximum Warp.


ENGAGE!



~Nate-O