The Perfect Woman for Nate-O

Maybe it's because Valentine's Day is around the corner, or because I'm delirious since having no steady job this week has thrown my circadian sleep cycle completely out of whack... I've been pondering what my "perfect woman and mate" would be like.

I realize that since there are roughly 3.25 billion women on this planet, even if this perfect female specimen existed, the chances of meeting her would be incredibly slim... like 70 trillion to 1 or something. I don't know, math was never my forte'.

However, for the sake of the fact that I easily forget the most mundane things, here are the major criteria for my perfect mate (In no particular order):

-Sense of Humor: In this regard, I'm pretty flexible. It would help if she made me laugh, but I'll settle for making her laugh with my personal brand of dork-ness, sarcasm, movie references and random stuff.

-Intelligence: Dumb girls need not apply. Although I'm rarely serious, I need a girl who can stimulate my brain as well as my other senses. Just looking pretty and acting like she understands the big words I may use won't cut it. (As an example, if you know what "Unscrupulous" and "Conglomerate" mean, you have a good shot.)

Speaking of looking good...

-Physical Appearance: She doesn't have to be a perfect 10. As a matter of fact, a flaw or two would probably be preferable. That way, the self-esteem factor takes over and she likes her for what she is. If she wants to change, that's ok. She can do side-bends or sit-ups... but please don't lose that butt. Yep, I said is, a little cushion for the pushin' can turn Nate-O into a horny beast pretty quick if she works it well. Hips can also be a hot factor too. I'm a fan of dem child bearin' hips. (But, as Peter Griffin would say, NO FAT CHICKS!)

Some other preferable stuff since we are on the subject:
*Between 5'5" and 5'10"
*Brunette or Redhead
*Fair skin is a plus
*Boobs = Yes (But not so huge that I sprain my thumb)
*Blue eyes would be KILLER

Ok, moving on.

-Taste in...

-Music: There is a very wide berth here. I would love a chick who has as large an eclectic taste as I do. As long as she doesn't COMPLETELY HATE any sort of music. Even I, who used to pretty much hate Country, have wised up and picked a few songs that I can jam to in that genre.

-Food: I'd like to think I'll try anything once given the opportunity. My ideal woman would be close to the same and would encourage stepping outside the culinary box from time to time.

-Movies and TV: The perfect woman for me would be a Star Trek nerd like me. (All other Movie and TV stuff could be compromised on if this were the case.)


-Miscellaneous:

*Must be a good kisser

*Respects multiple points of view, even if she doesn't necessarily believes in them.

*Is outgoing and isn't afraid to do spontaneous stuff. (Such as Karaoke or Sky Diving on a whim)

*Doesn't mind that I'll be in a low-income situation for a while, but will still support my dream of having a good radio gig in a big city. (I'd support her dreams and aspirations just as much)

*Thinks some/most superstitions are bullshit

*Can watch sports and actually understand what is going on

*Loves to dance... and drags me on the dance floor even if I don't want to

*Can play poker and craps

*Likes beer and not just girlie drinks


Oh, and two more because these are PRETTY HUGE!

My perfect mate should be able to recite verbatim:

(A)The movie Ghostbusters

(B)Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"

(C) All of the above



Yep... it's too much to ask. But, I can dream.

~Nate-O