Things To Do Before I Die

Hey meatlovers pizzas,

I figured since I haven't done a post in a few days, it was time for some randomness.

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE (or become a vegatable)
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-Eat a 64 oz. steak in a single sitting: I figure I'll either be happy as hell and simply need a nap or have a massive heart attack somewhere halfway through.

-Go Skinny Dipping with Heidi Klum: OK, I realize this is a long-shot. However, given the fact that I'm a really funny guy with a great personality, she'd have no choice but to jump into the South China Sea with me one night and we'd make love like wild Orcas. (A truly magical vision for you folks to ponder.)

-Build a Robot to help me conquer the Martian Empire: Those little green pricks have gotten on my last good nerve. They keep sending me spam about sending them money and my bank account number so they can forward me a bunch of martian pesos to keep until they invade. Well I'm tired of waiting and having my account drained twice a day. I'm fucking sick of it.

-Make "Teddy Graham Memories" a national icon of silliness and earn $5 Billion in T-Shirt royalites alone: TGM will grow my friends. Pretty soon EVERYONE will want to hear about my stupid and fairly unimportant life. I may even make baseball caps... the possibilities are limitless.

-Record the best album of all time and not even show up to the Grammy's: Fuck the Grammy Awards.

-Go scuba/sky/cliff/muff diving: ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

-Play Pacman for 48 hours straight: I would only break for water, sex, and the apocalypse. Actually, the apocalypse can wait... 'cause I'd be playing Pacman.

-Send 20 dollars to MC Hammer: Because, frankly, he probably needs it more than I do.


There you have it... all the stuff that will probably never happen to me ever.


~Nate-O