Hey Eggo Waffle enthusiasts,
After three straight days of turkey, gravy, stuffing, and various degrees of pumpkin pie awesomeness... I've decided to do another one of those "WTF" entries. So lets get to work with the funny.
-False Advertsing: Marines
Do you remember these fucking recruiting commercials? I sure as hell do. And I'm certainly not knocking the Corps, cause those dudes could seriously stomp a hole in my ass. It's the god damned advertising department that grinds my gears.
I mean, I have a cousin in the Marines and he didn't have to fight a FUCKING LAVA MONSTER in order to complete his training. However, I think it would be pretty sweet tits if they did. I mean, our boys wouldn't have a single thing to worry about if they had to fight their way across a volcano and fight a LAVA MONSTER with only a two-handed broadsword at some point during basic training. Those guys would be pimptastic in my book.
-Dr. Pepper: ENOUGH ALREADY!
You know what probably tastes like a dog's butt covered in cyanide? "Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper." WTF?!!?? Are we so out of ideas of what to flavor soda that we just add as many prefixes to said god damned soda? What's next? "Caffeine Free Diet Cherry Vanilla Chocolate Grape Poo Wang Chung Sprite"? Fuck that.
-Butt 2 Face: BEST WEBSITE EVER!!!
Jake and Joey... I love you guys. I've never wanted anything else in a website until now. You guys should be knighted by the Pope or some shit.
-Current random chick I would like to bang: Laura Prepon
Fuckin' A gentlemen... Donna from "That 70's Show." Holy god she is HOTT!!!!!!!!!! Redhead or Blonde, I don't give two shits. After watching almost a full weekend of this show, I feel like kicking Topher Grace's ass just for being in the same bed with her.
-Pat Morita: RIP
On a more somber note... Mr. Miyagi has passed away. One of my favorite on-screen masters of ass-kickery is now gone. This only leaves me with Yoda, The Gunnery Sgt. from "Full Metal Jacket", and Chuck Norris.
"You do karate 'yes' or you do karate 'no'. You do karate 'guess so', WHICK, just like grape."
Anyways, that's my weekend in a nutshell. See you all Sunday or whatever. GO COLTS!
(POA and Honorable Mentions cancelled this week in honor of Mr. Miyagi.)
You pretty OK too,
~Nate-O
1 comment:
Ok ... Five things:
1. Anyone who fights a lava monster would also go down as "pimptastic" in my book.
2. "...wang chung Sprite"? Please describe to me sir what that might taste like.
3. I'm pretty sure the Pope doesn't actually do any knighting...
4. You're right...I think I'd do her too...but it'd have to redheaded Donna...that blond shit just doesn't do it for me.
5. God Bless Mr. Miyagi (Or whatever Asian deity he might've had faith in...)
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