Night Clubs = Ten Pounds of SUCK

Hey lawn gnomes,

This is the absolute last time I go to a fuckin' night club. After last night's debacle, I can say with near total certainty that I will only goto bars to get drunk, and not night clubs. I'd rather trim my nose hair with a chainsaw.

First of all, the drinks are freakin' expensive. I thought I'd have to take out a sizeable home-equity loan for a fuckin' rum and coke. And I don't think 7 bucks for a lemon drop shot is very reasonable either. How bout I just hand the barkeep my wallet and he punches me in the face? That would make me feel the same in less time!

I'm also surprised at the snottyness of the ladies. Unless you actually showed up with ladies in your group, be ready to dance by yourself. These chicks dress like they need to get laid immediately, but when you try and dance with them they look at you like a wildebeast with a big zit on its forehead. These women need to be sterilized with a clotheshanger.

Also, how do these places not get busted for fire-code violations? They pack us in like a jar of dill pickles! I wouldn't be surprised if I contracted an STD from having to touch all these people while trying to get to the bathroom.

And could someone turn the goddamn air conditioning on in these places?!? For fuck's sake I thought my nuts were gonna burst into flames. When you sweat as much as I did, you would normally be admitted to the local hospital for dehydration.

From now on, the local pub will be my favorite hang-out spot. Fuck the dance clubs. Fuck em with a pine cone.


POA: 62% (I need a drink.)
Previous POA: 68%


Honorable Mentions
---------------------

Katie: A fifth of Jim Beam? You're a brave soul indeed.

Robby: Sorry man, I just couldn't have too much fun last night.

Me: Either I need to learn how to dance or be better looking. (Yeah right)


Ugh,

~Nate-O