Question Thingy

I stole this little survey from Rob. I plan on making it more funny.

(1) The singular boring question: What's the square root of 4?
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? Deloris Humdinger
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you? No
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? Jake
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? No.
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? And become a pretentious bastard? Fuck no.

THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? No
(8) Do you think God has a gender? God is a Duck-billed Platypus
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion? Yep
(10) Do you believe in organized religion? Nope
(11) Where do you think we go when we die? A hole in the ground or burned up
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? What kind of question is that?
(13) How easy is it to make you laugh? There is humor in everything
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most? Um... me
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? Yes
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? Like what?
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Boobs
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? Boobs

MUSIC
(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? Yeah, but I'm white.
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? Achy Breaky Heart
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? "It's the End of the World" by REM
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head? Bananna Phone
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? Bananna Phone
(24) If you were to serenade the object/person of your affections, which song(s)? Serenades are stupid
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer

MOVIES
(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Star Trek Movies
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? Some are better actually
(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character? Either Chewbacca or Darth Vader
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Comedy
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? Drama

FOOD
(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? Taste- I'll deal with healthiness later
(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese? Either Swiss or Any Jack Cheese
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? I like Cheese?
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? Why? Do you know something I don't?
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? Nope. Humans wouldn't be humans if we hadn't ate meat back thousands of years ago. So EAT UP PEOPLE!


COMPUTERS
(36) Mac or PC? PC bitches!
(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works? I think you want my identity
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? I like IM better
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? yep(40) Have you ever bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? I once mistakenly bidded 1500 dollars for a pair of jeans.


THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? No, girls are too... interesting in the naughty areas.
(42) What do you love most about the other gender? Boobs
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender? Not Boobs
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender? Everything


CELEBRITIES
(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Uh... no
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most? Autographs are overrated
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? I looked like James Dean when i was younger
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? ME!
(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? Where do you come up with this stuff?
(50) MIA? What?
(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich? Uh... only if I have hot chicks on my nuts at all times

NUMBERS(52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? Every Freaking Time
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? Fuck No
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? Now I KNOW you want my identity(55) Do you actually know your IP address? No, and you wouldn't get it if I found out!
(56) Do you know what an IP address is? Uh...
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? My address is sufficient
(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? Yes
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? No, I use them all the time
(60) What do you think of pi? I like Pi: Apple Pi, Pumpkin Pi, Numcuck Pi...


LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT
(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? Nah
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Weird, cause something tells me that's you!
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? Gotta know 'em
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? Dunno , we'll cross the bridge if we come to it
(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? Yeah, cause I'm a lazy bastard
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? Fine, but I probably couldn't do it (The emotional part, the sex part is a no brainer!)
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? Depends on how you define "physically unattractive"
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? How the HELL should I know?
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? Depends on if I would NEVER have sex again
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? I laughed at it if that's what you mean

POSSESSIONS
(71) What is your favorite possession? My Penis
(72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most? A New Car
(73) How badly do you want it? Enough to kill a small pony
(74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? Yeah...
(75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? What the CRAP are you talking about?!?!?!


HOLIDAYS

(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? Yes
77) How old do you think you will be before you stop pooping older? Huh? I don't poop my pants
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? I big nail through my head
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? I've repressed those memories
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? Flag Day
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August - what should be put there? National Let's all get Naked Day
(82) How good is your short-term memory? Not bad, but what does that have to do with Holidays?
(83) How good is your long-term memory? See previous Answer
(84) What is your earliest memory? Moving out of my old house
(85) What is your happiest memory? Every Roller Coaster at Cedar Point in one day!
86) What is your strangest memory? Dunno
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize? Clerks

TEARS
(88) What movie makes/made you cry? None
(89) What book makes/made you cry? None
(90) What song makes/made you cry? None
(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried? Nothing (I may not have tear ducts)

THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS
(92) Would you like to be cloned? Maybe, if I had full control over him
(93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it? I'll be dead. Don't play with my soul!
(94) Scaramouche, scaramouche? Do you do the fandango?
(95) Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long? Maybe if it didn't suck as bad
(96) Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting? Some were
(97) Are you sorry you began filling it out? Kind of
(98) What question do you wish it had asked? Do you like Brownies?
(99) How would you have answered it? Yes times infinity

THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
(100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? Uh, this morning
(101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? Get back to work!


(Now I'm going to do a Pirate entry)