Myspace = Satan

Hey net surfers,

It has come to my attention that roughly 80 percent of people have checked out "Myspace". If you didn't know, Myspace is an online social networking website where people go to collect friends and make hideous looking page designs teeming with shit that nobody else should care about.

Obviously I don't have a myspace account. I think myspace is stupid because everyone else thinks it's cool. I'm a fuckin' rebel. Fuck yeah.

So, since I'm a big fan of lists, here are the top reasons I (and others like me) will never get a myspace account.

1. Myspace is a breeding ground for stupidity. People don't realize that just because you can be "friends" with Jenna Jameson and 50 Cent, post music videos of artists and music that suck, and design horrible backgrounds that it makes you "web savvy". I have friends that can design websites from NOTHING and make a better looking front page than little miss 15 year-old brat with a laptop that daddy bought her.

2. Myspace is a breeding ground for stalkers. There is NO security on Myspace to speak of. Everyone could potentially get ahold of your information. It kind of makes you wonder how some of these women can sleep at night... I mean, at least Facebook has enough security to make you feel partially safe from Mr. Pedophile McWeirdo.

3. Texas hates Myspace. At least they get something right down there.

4. Tom is a dick. Who cares how many "friends" he has? Did you know that the only reason Tom is your friend is because the guys at Myspace had no idea how to get a network started without him. It's not innovative... it's just a retarded mistake that the dudes at Facebook didn't need to worry about. If I could, I'd delete Tom from the universe.

5. Jake doesn't like Myspace. He's pretty much the smartest dude on the planet. You should listen to him. (And don't be his friend. It just encourages the cycle. Plus, I might end up hating you.)


If you have any shread of individuality left, don't join Myspace. It's like getting a tattoo just because all your friends have one...

If you don't understand that analogy, then you need to go swallow a knife.


Tom needs to die,

~Nate-O