Tuesday, April 4, 2006

AL-KEE-Hall

Hey buttershots,

I've had a chance to see the pictures taken on Saturday night at my party. I must say they are very... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, embarassing.

I'm not saying they aren't funny. FAR from it. I laughed quite a bit. However, the ones involving me running around in a druken stupor has only solidified a fact that I came too yesterday afternoon.

Alcohol and I, though we seem to have a good time, are just not very compatible.

Sure, I'll enjoy the occasional social beer and I may even have a shot with you, but for the most part I can't enjoy alcohol unless I get drunk. And when I get drunk... I do some really embarasssing shit.

What really embarasses me is that fact that I can't always remember what happens when I get drunk. I blackout and wake up the next morning in my bed wearing a hot dog costume and cuddling with an oversized teddy bear. The immediate question being, "Did I get laid wearing a huge hot dog costume?"

The second question I ask once I realize that I didn't get laid is, "WTF happened last night?"

I don't want to end up as an alcoholic at 27 and have to go to AA meetings. I don't want to have to get drunk to get laughed at and have a good time.

Therefore, I'm not going to get drunk for a few weeks. Plus, I'm going to throw away my hot dog costume. It's really getting dirty and the dry cleaners always laugh at me when I bring it in.


Ok, on a lighter note, I'm getting really excited for entry numero 200. I've got a GREAT idea for the next generation of TGM, I just have to figure out how I'm going to do it. This idea is going to cost me some money so I need to get my ass in gear if I plan on making it happen.

On a lighter lighter note, I converted another person to the blog side. My plans of dismantling xanga one user at a time is proceeded well ahead of schedule. MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm so evil...

I've also decided that I'm officially a pirate. Anyone who wants to join my crew needs to let me know so I know how many swords and parrots to order.


Keepin' it real,

~Cap'n Nate-O

2 comments:

Writergal said...

I think that's a good idea. You were pretty outta control at the end. Projectile vomiting followed by more shots is a little icky.

And sign me up to be a pirate, but only if I can have a stuffed parrot. I hate birds.

Kate said...

Two things:

1. I, for damn sure, want a sword, a parrot AND an eye patch.

2. The strange thing is...I wasn't really sure if the hot dog costume was entirely a joke. I wouldn't be shocked if you really did have one just chillin' in that apartment somewhere.