Headlights Suck!!

After a kick ass dinner last night, I decided to go check out "The Longest Yard' at the local movie theater. I went through the standard "safety lecture" from my Dad.

-"Do you have your phone?" (Sarcastic Response: No Dad, I left it in Cambodia last week. Didn't I tell you?)

-"Do you have your wallet?" (SR: No Dad, I plan on paying for the movie with severed heads and freeze-dried bananna chips.)

-"Do you have your keys?" (SR: No, I think I'll take the Clydesdale out for a stroll.

-"Be Careful!" (SR: Okay, but I'm gonna drop a hit of acid before I go. It clears my head before I drive.)

(BTW: In case you're wondering, I usually tune this part out by humming Will Smith music to myself.)

I thought I was ready to go but my mother decides to try and make me take a coupon for a free movie certificate. Now, I immediately object because there is no indication of whether or not it will get me into the movie for free. She insisted...

With my coupon in hand, I race for the car and start 'er up all Indy 500 style reving the engine about 69 times. I jet out of the driveway like Jeff Gordon on crack since I'm late for the flippin' movie.

It's about dusk at that time, so I smartly turn on the Headlights. BIG MISTAKE!!!

After arriving at the theater almost late for the movie, I PAY for the ticket and am just in time for the trailers. I settle into my seat trying not to look at the hot jailbait two rows ahead of me.

The movie was pretty good. But I'm gonna stick to the subject here.

I got out two hours later and get into my car. Turning the key, I immediately notice that I didn't turn my headlights off. After a series of profanity-laden screams and head bangs on the steering wheel, I figure out WHY I left the fuckers on.

1. I was late to the movie and I HATE being fucking late. It's like my ultimate pet peeve... besides people who can't spell or have bad grammar or both. Those people piss me off.

2. It was still light out 2 hours ago. So I didn't even think about turning them off becuase I forgot I had them on. (Fuckin' car doesn't beep at me either!!)

Well, I got home okay after a Jump from my Dad. I really think I oughta put a post-it note on my steering wheel in case that happens again. Let's hope it doesn't.

Nate-O says: "Whenever life kicks you in the nads with little mundane shit that pisses you off... get really mad. Hell, that's what I do."